Obstacles are put in front of you, not to obstruct you, not to demoralise you, but to encourage you to do your best to pummel through it. It might sound naive at times, but it's the only way, and it's what you have to do to achieve a goal you've been dying to reach for a very long time.
These are testing times, for it provides the proving grounds for me to show that I am capable of being a man, being someone who can take on situations independently, the stepping stones in my path of being a whole person.
Tests come often. In the form of responsibility(Accepting positions in societies, taking care of parents, be responsible for my own health etc.). In the form of relationships(Am I treating her the right way? Am I worrying my parents because I haven't eaten too much lately? Am I giving my friends the attention they so longly crave for?). In the form of performances(Test results going well? Where did I go wrong in this basketball match?) or even in the form of self-restriction('Let her have fun with other guys, she possesses her freedom.' 'Stop eating those chips right now...' 'Supper kills.'). Tests help us recognise our potential. With every step crossed, a new aura of confidence resides in you, and the more self-belief you have when similar tests approach.
試驗，我們經常會面臨。也許是在責任方面（接受在學會裡的職位、照顧爸媽、為自己的健康負責人……）。關係方面（我對他這她做對不對？我少吃會讓爸媽擔心嗎？我有沒有給我朋友他們需要的注意？）。性能方面（考試成績怎樣？這場球賽哪裡做錯了？）甚至在自我克制方面（‘她有她的自由，偶爾讓他參他的男性朋友吧’ ‘別再吃薯片了’ ‘宵夜=自殺’……）。一切探試讓我認識了自己的潛能。每個試驗完成了，一陣新鮮的自信心會在你心裡燃起，讓我相信自己能夠面對各種難關。
There will be times when you meet all kinds of people out there. Those with the nice-guy attitude who will be your best buds on a temporary basis, those with an agenda to utilise you and ditch you when their mission is done, those who just want to be close to you so that they can show you off to people, those who are willing to give everything for you because they truly love you, those who care only for themselves and do not think about your feelings etc. Knowing people helps us to have a malleable and flexible mentality. Call me two-faced, but for different people you just gotta treat them differently and make the most out of the initial ice-breaking.
At times I'm not sure of myself. Sometimes I just couldn't figure out why I have to do something to achieve my goals, thinking it was pretty irrelevant to them. Maybe it's true, but yet, maybe in the future I might find use for those 'useless' things I've studied.
As of now, my girl's out with her band(more guys than girls, obviously) to Malacca, I'm facing a transition period in life, and I'm struggling with my studies. Can I pull through this and make it out fine? I just need my doubts to vapourise and start doing things the way they should be done, not my way. I realised that I could not hold on to this kind of relaxing attitude anymore. Time whizzes by and the clock never turns back. I need... some time for myself.